roll on over to her mangled vine
winding fingers

tracing
a
path

through some inborn hedgemaze

it's alright

you've all tumbled over to the other side like a SPLASH
you've pooled together in a frenzy

the waiter watches like a sailor who doesn't know how to swim
and all the girls are dressed like 50's housewives

...and maybe they are, really...

six gins in and you dive on in
like it's nachos

no use trying...
you've already shined them in with that headlamp grin
rigged up for nighttime fishing

About a week ago, me and my co-workers put on an English camp at one of our schools. After introducing the "games" event and then demonstrating how to properly put together a mean burrito, one of the teachers at the school informed me that I was Queen of the English Camp.

I guess dreams can come true.

Melamine-a-rific

One of my schools gave me a mini candy machine as a welcome gift a couple of weeks ago. After eating most of the M&M's in the machine, I learned about the recall issued on them due to traces of melamine.

There's only a small handful left....

....and I really want to eat them.

I'm also reminded of an e-mail a friend sent me a few weeks back where she shared a dream she'd had about me. In the dream, a doctor told me that I had high cholesterol (which, unbeknownst to my friend, is true). The doctor was then concerned because I had apparently ingested some kind of poison.

Which brings me to my worry about the M&M's.....looking much too delicious in their little poison apple red machine.....

English Lessons

As I was waiting an hour and a half for my train to Seoul, a little boy sat down next to me. I was frantically trying to sort out my daily lesson plans for the entire month of October and so I didn't really notice how keenly interested the boy was in what I was doing...until his head was bent so far over my page that I couldn't read it anymore. I looked at him, slightly annoyed, as I was obviously trying to work. He just kept right on doing his thing until he noticed me staring at him. Then, instead of moving so I could continue working, he grinned at me all chesire-like and started reading my page out loud, "Study directions. Places and direction phrases. Ex: How do you get to the hospital?" He looked fairly pleased with himself and beamed at me with eyes that read, "I know English! I know English!" It was absolutely impossible to be annoyed at this point, and also quite obviously apparent that he would keep staring at me unless I let him show me just how much English he knew.
So, we played hangman for a good 15 minutes...his mother quite happily allowing him to hang out and play strange games with a random foreigner in the train station...and I, quite happily distracted from my tedious lesson planning...until their train arrived and they had to go. They were about halfway to the gates when the little boy turned around and ran back over to where I was sitting. He stuck his hand in his pocket and handed me a Kit Kat, sideways grinned, and then ran back to his mom and off they went, leaving me in smiles.

How much Jam can you put in a Two Week Sunday Sandwich?

Since I've been back in Korea, I've:

- re-introduced myself to the amazing-ness that is a Korean sauna
- had a classroom full of students recite a memorized, "Nice to meet you, teacher. We love you!" as they all made giant heart shapes with their hands
- foiled a full-grown man at Simon Says
- asked at least 10 different farmers how to get to our school (I teach at 7 different schools in the district)
- been late for class twice because at least 10 different farmers gave us poor directions
- eaten raw beef...on purpose
- had a random man ask me if I wanted to go for a ride on his motorbike while I was jogging
- sprained my ankle while jogging 3 minutes after a man asked me if I wanted a ride on his motorbike
- been snapped in the forehead with an elastic band...with my permission...in a bar...while kneeling on a table
- developed a random eye infection that only bothers me when I wear my contacts
- learned how to play a game called Billibow...a game which combines billiards and bowling
- AND have been re-introduced to Bacchus D: the energy and health drink containing nicotine


It's been a busy two weeks, but a good two weeks. : )

Hilarity

We got lost on the way to class the other day and encountered two large statues. The statues were just hanging out on the side of the road.
Just standing there.
Totally non-committal.

Penises.
Yes, that's right.
There were two of them.

Round and round and round and...

So, I've finally arrived in Goryeong. It's everything I had imagined. It's beautiful - small little colonies nestled into tree-laden mountains surrounded by nothing but the sound of cicadas. Refreshing.
And boring boring boring.
But, in comparison to the crazy whirlwind that was my past three weeks? It's no kidding this seems boring.

Enter Connor.
She flies to Seoul. Then to Osaka. Only to have her visa application denied. She then flies back to Seoul. Immigration refuses to grant her a visa anywhere other than Vancouver. She then flies back to Vancouver via Seattle. Buses through customs. Spends the next week at Martin's for the second time around. Obtains visa one day early thanks to daily harassment. She flies to Seoul, takes the bullet train to Daegu and then drives to Goryeong.
And really? That's not even the half of it.

Although incredibly stressful, it was actually a lot of fun because everything was up in the air and anything could have happened. And I did manage to finish Clapton's autobiography in record time due to travel. It's good. Read it. You'll like it. I hope the busker I gave it to likes it as much as I did. He seemed pretty excited about it.

And I have a possible future job as a teacher in Nepal working for an NGO?

AND...I've recently been vaccinated against multiple infectious diseases. Go me!